lyef & thymes

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Final stanza of the prologue...

Read my last two posts if you want the background for this one.

Then the thursday arrived when Kate and I would be meeting to discuss our thoughts. I had come to realize that all of the issues present were hers. If she didn't want someone pursuing her, but thought for sure that I was doing so, that's her issue. If she doesn't want to disrupt her relationship with her boyfriend, but feels as though friendship with me did so, that's her issue.

So I was all set to meet up, talk, try my best to set her mind at ease about my position, and let her know that I was (am) willing to be her friend, no-strings-attached.

I phoned her during the day and told her I had a soccer game at 7:15, and it would end sometime after 9:00. I played soccer, got whooped 5-1, went home, called her and there was no answer. Had a quick shower and called again and her sister answered saying that Kate had gone for a drive and she didn't know when she would be in.

Thursday night was the best possible night to meet because it gave both of us time to think before Friday, when Kate went away for a week. So now I haven't had a chance to say my piece, feel a bit stood up, but for all I know she feels stood up too. Very strange, and yet somehow exciting.

I don't intend for romance with this girl, but in the strictest sense of the word, I find myself pursuing her. Somewhere in all of this is a sentiment that says "I just want things to be right, and don't know how to do that."

No doubt some of you will think I need to step back from this obviously manipulative woman. Others may think "finally someone Jacob doesn't understand right off the bat". All in all, I am glad simply to know that there is a community of friends who i can talk to about the strange and oft times frustrating things I think and do.

So, thanks for tuning it to my saga. Hopefully this is just the prologue to a beautiful story.

Monday, July 25, 2005

And the Plot Thickens

For background, read my previous post.

She chuckled a little bit when I suggested that I was irresistable to women. This caused my synapses to start firing. She's laughing because that's a ridiculous statement...or maybe it makes her nervous because I AM irresistable to her, and I have just made things more awkward.

"Well, I just don't know if there is such a thing as 'just friends' between a man and a woman," says Kate. "I think that eventually in any relationship like that you will eventually have to face the idea that one or both parties will be attracted to each other. So I thought I had better just say right up front that I don't want to be pursued."

"This is pretty weird, Kate. No one has ever talked to me like this before.”
Says I.

“I have never done this before either, it’s just that think we could be good friends, and I don’t want to leave anything to get in the way of that.”

“I see, so you’re saying, ‘If we just do things the way we always do things, we get the same result’, and this time you want a different result. You want to set things up in such a way that there can be honest and open communication between two friends, without things getting in the way that typically get in the way?”

and at this point I made the mistake of thinking I knew what she was talking about.

“I think what I mean is what I said. I want to be your friend, but I can see how a girl asking you for coffee could be misunderstood, and so I want to be transparent here.” She’s not smiling anymore, and so once again I try to lighten the mood.

“Well, this could go a few ways. We could be friends for a little while, then realize that neither one of us could live without the other, get married, and your boyfriend would be crushed. OR we could be great friends for our whole entire lives, without romance ever entering the picture. OR we could try friends out, hate it, and it will all amount to nothing” I say in a somewhat light-hearted way.

“Or we could not even try friends out, and just go our separate ways right now,” she adds. “Which one of those do you think is the right way?”

At this point in the conversation I realized that I had been seriously underestimating the importance of the subject to Kate. It is possible that she has never been able to have male friends, and didn’t know if she could, so I was potentially a big gamble for her.

“Kate, I think you are a fantastic person, and I don’t want to presume to know every potentiality for where a friendship between you and I could lead. Can you accept the fact that there are variables that cannot be controlled?”

“I don’t know. Do you want to take some time to think about it, and then get together again later on and talk about it some more?” she asks.

“Sure. How about Thursday, after my soccer game?”

…more to follow on the continuing saga of Jacob’s friendship with Kate.

Friday, July 22, 2005

So there's this girl...

who I used to know, whose name we shall designate as Kate, although that is not her name. I ran into Kate at a soccer game two weeks ago, and with some excitement, I might add. She was also excited at having re-encountered an old friend, and suggested coffee. I am never one to refuse a cup of coffee, so we exchanged numbers.

Later that week we set up a time and a place for coffe, but she called and had to cancel. She called back a few days later and we set up another time, which worked out and we met up.

Conversation flowed freely, ideas were shared, and we even discussed some theological issues that we both had been thinking about. I am an intellectually inclined person. I love ideas, and thoughts, and connections, and theories, so this was an amazing talk in my opinion.

After about two hours she looks me square in the eyes and says "Jacob I think it's important to make it clear that I just want friendship from you. I have a boyfriend and I am committed in my relationship with him. I think there's a possibility for a great friendship between you and I, but I don't want to be pursued."

I was pretty stunned by the shift in conversation, but I also found it really interesting. I immediately went into congecture overdrive, wondering at a million thoughts a minute exactly what caused her to bring that up.

"Kate," says I. "I know I am irresistable to women and that you may very well be in love with me by this point in the evening, but I want to know something. If you think that a relationship between the two of us is likely, but want to remain with your boyfriend, then what are you doing here? Or if you don't think that a relationship is likely, why did you think it so important to bring that up?"

I will write more on how the story is unfolding in a few days, but I think this is a good place to leave off for now.

Monday, July 11, 2005

A new Enterprise

I am starting up a blogging film review, with reviews and discussion on new cinematic releases, new rental releases, and a section on older, more obscure films.

If you would like to help get it started check out the links on the right, and e-mail me any reviews you would like to put up.

Hopefully in time we can build a pretty good selection of reviews that will make for an interesting read. Imagine knowing with the click of the mouse exactly what Jon Puddle thought of Forest Gump, or how Sgt. Steve felt about "A Very Long Engagement".

Right now I have two new releases, and one rental review. I need more to make this worthwhile, and thought that people may want to express their own opinions in more substantial ways than comments allow.

Let the good times roll

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Orange was the color of her dress

Had a funny dream last night. I was in a coffee shop in Mozambique named "Orange was the color of her Dress". It's a real place, and I have been there. It's in a small village named Villancoulis that only exists because it is a port for the Paradise Islands off the coast. There is a six star resort (a five star with its own airport) on the island, and the village on the mainland needs to have a few kitschy places for rich people to hang out while they wait for a boat.

Anyway, so I was there, with an old friend named Amanda who was at one time the spring in my step, the apple of my eye, the...well you know what I am saying. And she was wearing an orange dress that she once wore when she accompanied me to a friend's wedding. It was all very surreal. Juxtaposing in my dream, a place I once visitted, and an old flame with whom I have lost touch. I don't know what to make of it. I can't recollect any of the dialogue from the dream, but I know that we just sat and drank coffee in this shop in Africa.

If you have a serious, heartfelt interpretation of this dream I am open to it. Or if you are Steve, I guess you can leave a shallow joke ;)