lyef & thymes

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Salty Dog

Been a while...four month or so. Have had a few thoughts in the meantime.

Hope is the substance of things longed for, the presence of things unseen.

Christ in me is the hope of glory.

A little transliteration then kind of says:

Christ in me, the substance of glory longed for, the presence of glory unseen.

It's been a quest for me for sometime now to become invisible. Not in a superhero kinda way, or in a "I'm not gonna shine, cause I don't want people to notice me" kinda way. Quite the opposite actually.

I'm going for the kind of life that is so bright that people can't look right at it, but instead must look slightly past it, or up, or to the side. I want to be un-look-at-able, while still inspiring people. I think that I (we) excuse myself from greatness because of some twisted idea of what humility means, as if somehow it requires that we do nothing out of fear of being noticed, and somehow developing an inflated sense of pride in ourselves.

I refuse to be thus crippled from being effective in the Kingdom, and at the same time I know that I need to completely rely on Christ in order to shine in the first place. I have no glory of my own. I will have no glory apart from His glory, but have the Hope of glory alive and well inside of me.

I guess I am feeling the strain between the life of the flesh, and the life of the spirit; the Kingdom of Jacob and the Kingdom of God. Having already made my choice, I find myself on the pilgrimage that is a lifetime of leaving the one for the other.

Lord I thank you that I don't turn into a pillar of salt as I occasionally look back.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

A break from the series, for a few words

Was reading some bible and I saw something cool. Spoke to a good friend about it and want to share some more here.

Ever hear someone tell you that the Kingdom of God suffers violence, and the violent take it by force? Do you believe that? Do you even believe that it is Jesus who tells us this? I submit that this is a deeply misused verse. On the surface it seems to be telling us that it is the violent/forceful ones who get the kingdom, or that we need to be active in the claiming of the kingdom. Jesus is telling us "the kingdom of God suffers violence, and the violent take it by force" right?

Wrong. There is a deeper context here. Allow me to bring to light the entire passage.

"Assuredly I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater that John the Baptist; but he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. And from the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force. For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John. And if you are willing to receive it, he is Elijah who is to come..."

this is the same speech where Jesus informs us "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Jesus is telling us that the law and the prophets, even up to John the Baptist who he identifies as Elijah, these all received the kingdom through force. Up to John, even Jesus says, up to now, that is how it was done. But to take it by force, born of a woman rather than born of the spirit and entering into his rest, positions you in the category of 'least' in the kingdom.

Jesus is saying that no longer must the kingdom suffer violence, no longer must it be taken by force, but rather we can carry an easy burden, of resting in him. The question I have had since this conversation, and what I really want to talk about here is, why the heck is that so hard to do?

I think it's because resting in Jesus brings us face to face with him, and as much as we love Him, coming face to face with Him is a whole lot like climbing into a steaming hot jacuzzi. It's a little too hot at first to really feel comfortable, but eventually you reach the point where you don't want to leave. I have recently been given loads of time to spend however I like, and I am amazed at the base things I will turn to for comfort before thinking to turn to Jesus. I will watch movies, listen to music, even read my bible, all without legitimately acknowledging that I am called to rest in the spirit.

This poem comes from the reflections I have had on the matter.

The gift of pain (love)

before me the hill,
rising from the city into the sky
onto the horizon,
the threshold,
the crossing over

behind me comfort
ease and familiarity
mindsets, blankets
a sleeping child
dormant and unthinking

before me a man,
a need,
unfulfilled longing
waiting, sweating, bleeding.
long into the night
prayer without ceasing
his mind always on me

the gift of love
the crucified Christ
the man who died for another
the gift of pain
the one who knew no sin
to become sin for me

before me the fiery furnace of love
the life of the spirit calling me forth
calling forth life,
calling for a life.

Before me a choice,
give me every last scrap of you
and you can have every last scrap of me

behind me nothing
nothing to lose,
nothing to gain

Up the hill is the man who gives all
the man who requires all
step after after step
weight that crushes me
the yoke of the loved
passed onto the lover

the gift of pain (love)
before me a choice
cast all your sins on me
then look upon me and be saved
take my yoke and I will carry yours

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My Childhood years

Thus continues my series on the geographical history of my life. This constitutes my pre-school years, even though I make mention of later years.

My Infant years I know only through hearsay. But geographically I was living in a part of Nova Scotia called the Annapolis Valley. In 1604 Annapolis royal was founded, making it the oldest permanent settlement in Canada. It is still a celebrated historical site.

As for me, I lived the town of Kentville, nestled between the North and South Mountains that lined the valley. I believe that it resides below sea level, but I am not sure. Let me consult google...elevation 31 meters, oh balls. Well none the less, I lived in surrounding towns in this area until I was 9, so let these pictures express my childhood until the age on 9 when I left Nova Scotia.

Below is a map of the province, and Kentville is to the west of Halifax, on the opposite bay. It's an hour's drive across the width of the province, and eight hours across the length. The island of Cape Breton is still home to my Grandmother, and I have many fond summer memories from North Sydney there.

next is a photo of the Apple blossom parade. While the town was only home to about 5000 people, over ten thousand would show up for this day. I remember walking towards the parade with great anticipation and the candy that would be thrown to the kids in the crowd, and I also recall the extreme boredom that I experienced shortly after eating my candy, and wishing we could just go home.

Cape Split is pictured below because of my love for hiking there. I have brought friends from Toronto, Minnesota, and Ottawa there just to hike the 5 mile trail into the woods and camp out for a few nights. But as regards my childhood, this picture represents the water more than the hike. I am told now that my love of the ocean, and water in general comes from my early years when my father was a shift worker at a tire plant. He would get off work and, exhausted, take our family to the beach where he would promptly pass out on the sand, and my sister and I would swim unsupervised for hours.

finally, a photo of Halls Harbour, up on the North Mountain. My parents divorced, and my father remarried, taking my sister and I to live in our new house up on the mountain. It was so far from anyone else that I couldn't walk to the nearest neighbors. The nearest "town" was Halls Harbour, an old fishing community, where I would often fish off the pier. It is to my grandfather that I owe my love of fishing. It has waned in recent years, but as a child I could bait a hook, line a bobber, and reel in a trout, cod, flounder, whatever. I loved to fish, and to this day there is no greater thrill for me than that of reeling in a catch.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Grace, I call your name

I was born on Dec. 1st, 1978 in Grace Maternity Hospital, Halifax Nova Scotia.

A storied and beautiful building, it has been decommissioned as a Hospital, and its current uses are not know to me. An indie band was formed by four guys who discovered a common theme, they were all "Grace Babies". I guess I am too.

Friday, June 06, 2008

The Geographical history of ME - An Introduction.

Geography is not meaningless to me. The places I have lived are spectacularly important in my life, past and present. The mundane places that we live accomplish so much more in us than any of the places that we visit. As an aside, I feel that this is meant to be true in the Spirit as well as in the natural. That the visitations we have of the Spirit, those signposts we erect in our human thinking of an event with God, are less important to Him than where we live day to day.

There have been times in my life when sin has abounded, and I would validate my life by the fact that God still visited me. OF COURSE HE VISITED ME, I'M HIS FREAKING SON! But he was still deeply concerned about where I was living.

Still, my point is that I am going to paint a picture of my life with some photos of where I have lived, and maybe some artwork, I don't know. I have lived in some places more than once, so look for some repeats, in different contexts that should serve to paint a picture of where I was at when I lived there.

Thus begins a new series at HimynameisJacob,

The Geographical history of ME.

Thursday, June 05, 2008


I have been in Texas for the last week, and now sit in the cafe at IHOP in Kansas City. It's been 6 weeks since life has seemed normal. First it was emptying the apartment, then Carolyn heading home first, then wedding, chicago, Texas, now KC, and the future is still formless and void.

Adventure...right, the Indiana Jones version of adventure always ends with the Indy smiling. Most recently, with a girl in his arms. Have you noticed how the best adventure stories are wrought from danger and mishap? True there is always a sense of mission, of aim, direction, promise, and my life has those is spades right now, but my goodness, when I said "Lord make my life an adventure", I think I forgot how tense it can be sometimes.

Carolyn and I are doing great, having so much fun, and getting a great deal of sun along the way, but I find that the one thing I crave most at this point is normalcy. Our own bed, for example.

Nothing deep here, just an update.


Thursday, May 08, 2008

Raleigh is Beautiful

Oh my goodness, Raleigh is beautiful. There are so many trees, the air is more lush than I could have imagined. Just breathing feels like life itself.

Everywhere we go we see unbelievable houses, incredible greenage, and sunshine galour.

I can't wait to come back here.