Beautiful Sun

Last night I had a lovely chat with my good friend and fellow Reluvnotionary, Micheal Sumner. We talked about how we both had enough time on our hands these days to become very stressed. Sounds funny doesn't it? But seriously, when you have a lot of free time, and no activities that define your purpose, you have to trust that you are valued and loved based on who you are, not what you do.

As I drove home after our conversation (it was an hour's drive) I began to inquire of God what exactly this season in my life was all about. The reply was very interesting. I sat in the driver's seat of my car and was flooded with the notion that this phase was God's idea, and that it is the best thing for me right now. He seemed to be promising me that in the end I will have engendered a much better sense of my Sonship. In other words, I will find my identity in being God's son, not in the things that I do with my time.

I had my iPod playing and at this point a Delirious? song came on, and the lyrics were "You are the Sun, Beautiful Sun." But of course I heard "You are the Son, Beautiful Son". It was particularly poignant for that instant in time. My eyes maybe even got a little moist.

I think God is very very smart, and knows what is best for me. If I find my identity, if I assign value to my life based on my successes and failures, then I have a very small spectrum for viewing myself. But if I can understand that my existence is justified by the fact that God says I am his son, then the sky is the limit.

YYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Oh Baby. I have a new computer. I followed in my good buddy Jeremy's footsteps and bought an ACER Aspire 3000, which means that I can get back into the swing of updating my various blogs.

So we will start here. I am living in Toronto again, and have been for just over a week. I have seen and visitted with many of my good friends from the City, and have enjoyed that.

I am enjoying my new environs, but I am also already feeling the grind of a new place, new ideas, new pressures, and new freedoms. For example, I need to relax. I am so fond of doing doing doing, and now have come to think that what I really need to do is rest, to chill out for a while and just be. I think that I have taken refuge in my many activities, skills, loves, and passions. Doing the stuff took the place of being myself. So I am hoping to re-learn how to just be.

And for that matter, I am now in a setting where there is SO much more to do that it becomes a little more challenging to leave time for being still, for contemplative prayer, for chilling, as they say.

So we will see if the country boy turned city man has what it takes to be real, to be himself in the bright lights of the big smoke. Can the river that spoke "peace" in St. Stephen keep speaking to me here? I think it can. I think it will.

Where things are "Head"ing

Today I am about to go get a haircut. It will be my first proper haircut in over two years. I spent about a year as a baldy, shaving my head with an electric razor every two weeks or so. Then I let my hair grow without even a trim for a year (less a week). Then I shaved it off again, and now it is just long enough to need a pruning at the sides. So I am off to get a trim. How exciting.

Satisfied (So Sweet)

"I've made mistakes today,
But I appear to be smiling wide.
No worries about tomorrow,
'Cause I'm satisfied."

These are lyrics from my friend Ry's song "So Sweet". I was speaking to a dear friend and was explaining a bizarre (but welcome) sensation of peace and satisfaction as I was driving down the highway. I was certain that it was in conjunction with a song I was listening to, but I couldn't remember which one it was.
Well, there it is. Turns out he wrote it about a girl. Maybe I will try my hand at that.

I have been experiencing a lot of stress lately, and I haven't dealt with it as well as I could have, but somewhere in all of the craziness of moving, packing, saying goodbye, there is peace. I have no worries about tomorrow, because I am satisfied today.

Six more sleeps until Ottawa, seven more until Toronto.