Final stanza of the prologue...
Read my last two posts if you want the background for this one.
Then the thursday arrived when Kate and I would be meeting to discuss our thoughts. I had come to realize that all of the issues present were hers. If she didn't want someone pursuing her, but thought for sure that I was doing so, that's her issue. If she doesn't want to disrupt her relationship with her boyfriend, but feels as though friendship with me did so, that's her issue.
So I was all set to meet up, talk, try my best to set her mind at ease about my position, and let her know that I was (am) willing to be her friend, no-strings-attached.
I phoned her during the day and told her I had a soccer game at 7:15, and it would end sometime after 9:00. I played soccer, got whooped 5-1, went home, called her and there was no answer. Had a quick shower and called again and her sister answered saying that Kate had gone for a drive and she didn't know when she would be in.
Thursday night was the best possible night to meet because it gave both of us time to think before Friday, when Kate went away for a week. So now I haven't had a chance to say my piece, feel a bit stood up, but for all I know she feels stood up too. Very strange, and yet somehow exciting.
I don't intend for romance with this girl, but in the strictest sense of the word, I find myself pursuing her. Somewhere in all of this is a sentiment that says "I just want things to be right, and don't know how to do that."
No doubt some of you will think I need to step back from this obviously manipulative woman. Others may think "finally someone Jacob doesn't understand right off the bat". All in all, I am glad simply to know that there is a community of friends who i can talk to about the strange and oft times frustrating things I think and do.
So, thanks for tuning it to my saga. Hopefully this is just the prologue to a beautiful story.
posted by Jake-M @ 3:08 p.m.
8 Comments:
"Somewhere in all of this is a sentiment that says 'I just want things to be right, and don't know how to do that.'"
Mr. Murphy-you and I are clearly quite similar. Doesn't that feeling just suck? Like things are off-kilter and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it.
I honestly wonder, though, and I hope you don't mind if I use your blog to express myself as well (seems to be a trend of mine...) if that tension is a) entirely a bad thing and/or b) the whole "state of off-kilteredness" is just made up. B) is of course on a case-by-case basis, and in your case it probably isn't the case, although it might be a sign of something-I don't know. Is it an entirely bad thing? Well as it states there's nothing we can really do about it, especially when I get the idea that she's not talking to me and for the other she I have no idea if I'll ever see her again and for your she you know you'll talk again but don't know when. If it's genuinely there, then it certainly is a noble notion. Therefore due to the unchangeability that tension is certainly noble. On the other hand, it can be quite easy to ignore if you know how to. And I can use prepositions at the end of sentences like back there, like right here. Because I want to. It's fun. Tension isn't. Ignorance is bliss, and bliss is hideously temporary.
Amen
Matt
At least I HAVE a mom, Mr. Test-tube!
As a random interloper into your bit of the web, this sounds like an intruiging little situation.
Sounds like - on face value - this girl is a very expressive and intelligent person. The type of person who can sit down and start discussing the complexity of the world around them and actually taking in other people's point of view (a trait that I swear is getting rarer, or maybe it's just me people have stopped listening too, hmm). And some blokes can't handle that cos they start thinking, wow this is a really interesting and enticing woman and she listens like no-one has in a while and this feels kind of good. So now she's used to having really interesting and involved meetings of minds only to find at the end of it all, the other person is starting to fall for her. Which, naturally is a pain when you're just interested in what people have to say. And also when you need conversation to spark interesting trains of thought in your own mind in order to help your philosophy on life, and existence in general, evolve.
Maybe I'm talking utter crap. I don't know I wasn't there. But that's my tuppence worth....
Mr. Joel, sir.
That's a very interesting perspective, and one that I doubt is far off the mark. She's definately insightful, and the entire time we were talking I though about how rare it is to find someone with whom it is so easy to communicate. I suppose she may have experienced what you were talking about, or maybe even found me to have some of the qualities that you listed.
If she does in fact have a boyfriend, then our friendship could indeed prove to be confusing for her.
It looks like Monday Aug. 1st may be our next cup of coffee.
I'm not sure if she's being manipulative or if she's completely unsure of her feelings.
If the latter is the case, then you are both in the same boat... only YOU have some idea how to deal with your confusion.
I'd say, if your heart is in it, keep going until you find an answer.
BTW, what's Father saying?
Let's go Jake; update your blog. What will we do without the most recent JakeThoughts?
ok i have no wise advise for you. I can't get a good picture of all this without talking in person. And speaking of in person, I was just there and I don't remember hearing about your proloque. wtc.
also, what you said to her. Did it really come out that smooth and well thought out? cause when I talk to a girl about serious stuff like that my brain shifts into neutral. I need to hang out with you more or something. gosh.
Did I meet "kate"??
and like Dan said, UPDATE!!
Jacob! The suspense is too much...
please...please write something. Write anything. Well, not the word 'anything' because that would be cheeky.
I beseech thee...writeth...
You know, I do have a degree of compassion for this girl you mentioned...bless her.
p.s. YOU ARE FREAKING COMING TO CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!
wow, I'm more excited than the campers. I'ma go pack now!
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