Flirting with Emptiness

Hello friends and loved ones. My good friend Andrew pointed me back to a post I wrote a few months ago on community. I am glad that he did.

As I was reading it over I realized that in the craziness of moving my life back (or forward rather) to Toronto I had left a place where I was very comfortable, and had worked my way into a place of real community with the folks around me in St. Stephen.

In Toronto things are very different, which is to say that the mode of life for most people is very different. I looked at all the different views people held there, and I set out to do my darndest to change it. If you look at the four stages of community, this most closely resembles the second stage, known as chaotic community.

In my former environs I had done away with most ideas I had of “fixing” everyone, and was able to accept them and myself. In Toronto I have had a hard time accepting the way others see things, and this has deeply affected the way I see myself.

So for the last little while I have been flirting with “emptiness” as it were. Remember, emptiness is a necessary stepping stone into real community. And that is a good thing.

For all of my friends in Toronto who are reading this, be patient with me. I am growing again, and while there are some growing pains involved, there are also many blessings that I can see quite clearly. I am surrounded by people who genuinely care about my well being. I am in a stage of life where the roof has been lifted off the greenhouse, and I am able to reach for yet a higher place than I have yet known. I think this is the “mountaintop to mountaintop” life I have prayed for many times.

And for my dear friends who are not in Toronto, I have not forgotten the many lessons you have taught me about living together in community. Even as I type, beer placed neatly beside the laptop, and there is a smile on my face, because God is good.